James- Our Son on Loan from Beth

The top photo is JJ with his girlfriend Justine.

The top left photo is JJ's family. His siter Janine, Uncle Fritz, Aunt Sue, his oldest sister Robin, and his Uncle Joe.

The bottom photo is his senior night swimming picture with his sister Janine.

JJ and his sisters came to us when their mother ,Beth, passed away unexpectedly from chemo treatment. To keep the kids to gether in one house we asked them to come and join our family. Of course we warned them that Buck and I are dull and boring people. We aren't rich, the house is just a house....so life wasn't gonna be all easy and comfy. Our idea of excitement is curling up on the floor and watching a DVD or some sporting event, or my obsession with my witches, bitches, and midget shows. At least that is what Buck calls them. It is really Paranormal, Jon and Kate plus 8, and Little People Big World.

James or JJ. ......we had two sons of our own so how hard could trying to finish raising another boy be. Well...........he is full of surprises and NOOOOOOOOOOOO it hasn't been easy but definetly worth it. As he has matured into a young man so has our ways of dealing and helping a kid grow-up. We have always adhered to the policy of giving a person rope. If they chose to hang themselves with it then you adjusted the rules and the rope. Well, we have had to throw that out and come up with a new game plan. JJ has hung himself so many times that we knew what we used in raising our boys was not gonna work with helping JJ grow up, learn what life is really all about, and learn about what is really important.....family.

JJ's mom had protected the kids from so much of what was going on with her health. They had no clue she had battled cancer for 10 years, she protected them from their alcoholic father [ who for some unknown reason pretends these kids don't exist the majority of the time], she wanted so much for them to have as normal of life as possible so she went overboard in giving them freedom to do a lot of things. From his 7th grade year to right now this boy has watched mom and dad seperate and then divorce, move 4 times, been involved in a horrific accident that virtually left one of his best friend's in a wheelchair, unable to walk, talk,......so sad, get his girlfriend pregnant and then give their little girl up for adoption, get a underage dui [ got reduced to failure to control but.....amazing what some $$$ and a lawyer can do.} and then a few other dents and curves. But as you can see just a lot of shit for a kid to grow through. He's still standing and that in and of itself is amazing.

He has two great sisters. Sometimes he may not appreciate it but they would do anything to help him and I believe he in turn would help them. The one thing we hope they have learned from being with us is to turn to family. In the end the ones standing beside you are gonna be your family members. So it is important to keep ties and nurture them.

The most heartbreaking moment for me with him was a day when he came home from school. He just busted out crying and said "I want my Mom, I need my Mom". What can a person do but just hold him and let him cry, let him know we love him and would do anything we can to help him but he asked for the one thing we cannot give to him. It's times like that when I'd like to boot his dad in the ass for never being around to help his son. What the hell!!!! You father three great kids and you just run off and let them try and make their way through life without a mom or a dad. I just don't understand people like that. I would give my life for my kids and this sperm donor wouldn't give $10 for his.

We have also recommended counseling for him and he agreed with no hesitation. So he goes and we hope he is making the most of the help they offer to him. He has a lot of stuff to sort out and file away and hopefully they can help him get some of the files in order.

I know the move to Carey in a few months has them all on edge as to what they will do. We have let them know they have a home there. Whether they want to live there....I honestily don't know but we cannot continue to put our lives on hold for others. Our live is gonna be in Carey and whoever wants to be part of that will come with us........otherwise I guess they will have to learn to fly on there own. We have done and will continue to offer them a home a place to crash....but as young adults they will have to decide what direction they want there future to take.