A Change is Coming

We are down to the last few weeks before we leave the nome we have lived in for the past 28+ years. I actually never planned on moving. I was happy livin in "the Hood". We had made a lot of the changes we wanted to our home so it truly was no biggie if we lived out the rest of our time in this home.

We are about to empty nest again with no plans to fill the nest this time. The nest will have the time to time filling from visits from our boys and their growing families. We hope others will stop by for frequent visits. We do enjoy the country quiet and the ability to walk out the back or front door and not have cars and people everywhere.

We are moving a trailer load at a time . Everytime we go over we grab some stuff and take it with us. This way I can unload it and put it away as it enters the new house.

We don't plan on changing anything in the interior of the house. It will be just fine for us for the time being. Most of what we want to work on is the outside grounds. And there is so much out there to work with.

Buck and I live a fairly simple life and it will get more so now that we are going to this new house. Especially with the new economic times. We have to find short cuts and easier cheaper ways of doing things. This has hit all of us pretty hard in the pocket. I might even put out a garden. Yes, that is so hard to believe but I do enjoy some veggies. I hate when you get them from the store and they do not even taste like what they are suppose to be.

I was catching fish big time yesterday. The bluegill/pumpkinseeds are spawning and all you have to do is hold a worm over the beds and the males attack the worm. Not sure I should even call it fishing but it is fun to throw something out and be able to reel a fish in. I always throw back everything I catch. I don't want to take out all the fish and not have some there when other people want to fish. I know that is a dumb way to look at things but I don't want to cook them so why kill them for nothing.

JJ

For those who don't know JJ is our son on loan from his mom Beth who passed away nearly 3 years ago. Beth and I had known each other for about 3 years and she and I always said JJ and my oldest son were twin sons born of different moms.

Beth knew she was ill with cancer but none of us new she would pass so soon. We just weren't even in that book when it happened. But time and life waits for none of us. It doesn't care whether we are ready or not. Beth has said she hoped the kids could come live with us. She hoped that JJ would observe Buck and see how a husband and Father are really suppose to act. She also had hoped the my youngest son, Adam, could mentor JJ like a little brother. But here again, timing was just bad. Adam was in college at the University of Dayton and he also played football. And he had a girlfriend of nearly 8 years. So his time was pretty well spoken for. Luke , my eldest son, was working in Columbus, going to school to get his Master's and was about to get married.

When I say JJ is not a bad kid, it is true. You look at some of the not so bright things he has done and you really have to wonder but......at his core he is a good kid.
Over the past 4 years he has watched his parents seperate then divorce. His father is an alcoholic and his mom just couldn't deal with all the drama of that plus her own illness. He was in a horrific accident that has destroyed the life of a very good friend. JJ spent over a month in the hospital and went through several surgeries. He and his girlfriend found out she was expecting. They carried the baby girl to term and then put her up for adoption through a Christian adoption agency. A tough choice and a rough time for juniors in high school to go through. But they are still together as a couple and that is great. JJ has an underage DUI that got reduced to failure to control. And now his last pothole- taking my narcotic painkillers. He is smoking weed and doing some drinking also. Buck and I just do not believe in this kind of behavior and choices for anyone let alone a 18 [ soon to be 19] year old that lives in our home. HE KNOWS BETTER. He can make so much better choices that to get high and wasted and God knows what else when he is using my meds.
Everyone told us to turn him into the police. I just could not do that to him. A drug charge on a young person heading into college just is not good. Kentucky would have told him to stay in Ohio, they wouldn't take him. I won't be the one who screws his future up. If he wants to do that he can do it without my help. So we have set down new ground rules for his future behavior and what we expect him to do this summer. Plus he always has the option of moving out on his own.
I wish he would realize that his behavior and the way he acts is all up to him. His peer group does not and cannot control him unless he allows it to happen. THE CHOICE IS HIS. He is in control but the minute he gives into the poor choice then he has lost control and that is what we are trying to get him to understand. We know that everyone does stupid stuff, it is part of growing up. It is how we learn and grow but when stupidity turns into idiotic behaviors that can harm others it's time to put the brakes on and that is what we have done to JJ. If he cannot make good choices for himself then we will remove him from the places that aren't healthy for him until he is confident enough in himself to say hell no, I don't wanna get high, I don't wanna get plastered, and I am not stealing someone elses painkillers to get my kicks.

We have talked and talked to him and we believe he is listening to some of it. We hope he understands we only want the best for him. We want to see him succeed. But we also know that he will not succeed if he cannot stand up for his core values and say NO. If these people are really his friends then it shouldn't matter but these kids now adays believe the harder you party the better.

We will continue to try and guide him to better choices but at this point JJ has to step up and take control of HIS LIFE. He is not a little boy anymore that needs to have his hand help to walk across the street. He can get there all by himself and he can get there safely if he just listens to his heart and soul and what it is telling him everytime he is faced with one of these choices.

We continue to work with him because we made a committment to his mom to finish raising him and helping him. It would be different if we felt he was a lost cause and that he didn't care....but again we know he is a smart kid, a kid whose mom taught him right from wrong, a kid who has a conscience that is telling him when he is making a poor choice.

We wish things were different for him. You never want to see a child without his mom and dad. His mom passed away, she had no choice but his Dad chooses to not be a part of any of the kids life. How tough must that be to know your Dad doesn't care one way or the other. I would be so damned pissed at him if I was JJ. I'm not making excuses for him.

I believe in JJ. I believe he will turn this pothole into a positive. I believe he wants to succeed, he wants people to be proud of him. Most importantly he wants people to love him for who he is not because of the circumstances that have come into his life.

Life happens to all of us. At times there is nothing that seems fair about any of it but as long as a person is breathing you can make things better, you can turn things around. You can choose to let life beat you down and keep you down or you can get up off the ground and make a better life. I believe JJ will get up off the ground and choose the better part of what life has to offer to him

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO JOHN AND LINDA

May God grant you at least 30 more years together

Life and life and Life

To a special Niece----just know we would never judge you or your hubby for a choice made so long ago. We all make choices we wish we could change. Life has a way of putting us in our place from time to time and we learn and move one. You cannot go back as much as you may want. You've put it in the hands of the one person [ not sure if person is the correct term but it works for me} that matters.
I saw where today was a sucky day for you. Hopefully tomorrow is better. I'm sure that you will always have things that remind you of both Carleigh and Jordan. You don't want to ever forget either one but in turn don't let the saddness hinder the joy you have everyday with Kyndra and Anthony.

Bella-

The most precious flower in our garden of life. We love to get phone calls from her and pictures and the brief video clips of what she is doing.

We love it!!!!!

Most of the time we cannot understand what she is saying....she is on a speaker phone and she either is to close or to far away but you still hear her voice and the excitement she is sharing.

It will be fun to have her and Ben together when he arrives in July. Everything is going fine with her pregnancy so far so we pray that continues for the duration.

Leo is recovering from his ear surgery. The anesthesia has thrown him for a complete loop. He is very subdued and quiet which is a little out of the norm for him. Hopefully this will correct the infection and hearing problems with him. I would think with all the crap they took out he should be hearing a whole new world. They said it would be like trying to hear underwater. Poor dog, no wonder he acts the way he does.

Drama, drama, drama- Yesterday was quite an eye opening experience. Wedding and engagement are off, boyfriend girlfriend spending weekends together, and then a choice.

Lets you know life has gone on in the past, will go on today, and also in the future.

You don't get married just to see what it is like. You don't screw every boyfriend just to see if you like him and it.