the rantings and ravings or .......

Wipe out the last post..

Great to have a computer and the ability to see that something really sucked so with one poke of a key 30 minutes worth of work disappears. I guess it's no different than scrunching up a piece of paper and chucking it into the vertical file.
I guess it goes to show what trying to write about family does to me...... a struggle with conflicting emotions.
Spent some time looking through journals from 8 years ago. What a dark blanket of oppression and depression I allowed myself to fall under. It is all to easy to get caught in that downward spiral. I liken it to the well you see in a mall where you put a coin in it and the coin spirals round and round till it drops into the bottom. Once the coin speeds up or in this case, me, how do you pull yourself out of the descent into total blackness. In my case I had a husband who walked beside me every step of the way. He was my best friend, my lover, my counselor. I got my strength through him. How blessed we are as woman and wives when we choose wisely our life partners.
Here, then, is a great truth I have learned through the trials I have endured and through reading scriptures and church writings. In the pain, the agony, and the endeavors of our life, we pass through the refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives melt away like dross and this helps to make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is through these purging trials that we become better acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint whisperings of Jesus Christ. It seems we only truly want to listen to these whisperings when we have suffering in our life.
Into every life , yours, mine, and others we know, there come the painful, depressing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be more than our fair share of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. NOBODY has a free pass through this earthly life. The Apostle Paul referred to his own challenge: “And lest I should be exalted above measure … , there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me.” The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process. We know of many people who have fallen away from their faith and the church because they felt God was punishing them. They couldn't get past their anger and bitterness at God for not taking away those things that grieved them so much.
Said Alma, “A shepherd hath called after you and is still calling after you, but ye will not hearken unto his voice!” In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit. We no longer ride with the flow of the crowd, but instead we enjoy the promise of Isaiah to be renewed in our strength and “mount up with wings as eagles.”{ my favorite Bible Scripture} The proving of one’s faith goes before the witnessing, for Moroni testified, “Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” This trial of faith can become a priceless experience. It may make our pain and suffering seem unbearable, we may feel we can never get back to normal. But we can, we will, we must. We must hold onto our faith in the Lord. He truly is walking beside us every step of the way. It is up to us to reach out for his hand and let him guide us. The answer to our prrayers may not be immediate, it may come in those quiet whisperings;it may be days, weeks, or months after our supplications to our Lord are lifted towards heaven.
States Peter, “The trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.” Trials and adversity can be preparatory to becoming born anew.
Jesus Christ has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless. All of us suffer some injuries from experiences that seem to have no rhyme or reason. We cannot understand or explain them. We may never know why some things happen in this life. The reason for some of our suffering is known only to the Lord. But because it happens, it must be endured. President Howard W. Hunter said that “God knows what we do not know and sees what we do not see.” President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: “Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.” Out of the refiner’s fire can come a glorious deliverance. It can be a noble and lasting rebirth. The price to become acquainted with God will have been paid. There can come a sacred peace. There will be a reawakening of dormant, inner resources. A comfortable cloak of righteousness will be drawn around us to protect us and to keep us warm spiritually. Self-pity will vanish as our blessings are counted.
The blessings of eternity will surely come to those who endure refining, as the Lord Himself taught: “He only is saved who endureth unto the end.”